I hope mine doesn't look like that
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
