i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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