He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize