You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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