I think I am morally bankrupt
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
