My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
