to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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