I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
