it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize