i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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