I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize