doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
