just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Randomize
