The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
