At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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