I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
