It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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