i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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