Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Everything about him screamed your future.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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