I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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