Christians are straight up FREAKS
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
