this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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