What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
