question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize