her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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