so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
