How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
