worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A bitchslap is in order.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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