Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize