i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
