The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
