look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
