shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
