Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
