Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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