she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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