Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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