Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize