Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
