everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
