and i looked up. we had an audience...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
