Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
