i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
