kristin has been a bad kristin
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize