Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
