Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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