Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
