I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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