Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
