Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
