his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
how drunk are you?
Several
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
