He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
