You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
