Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize