Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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