i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
