Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
