hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
