you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
