So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize