So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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